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Sunday, May 4, 2008

VERY EMOTIONAL

This will be real quick as I can not stop crying and I really need SOME FOOD!!! I guess I can say I am alright and have learned A LOT....You know my whole goal was to FINISH..as this being my 1st tri race I was not expecting much BUT really just wanted a FREAKIN FINISH!!!! The really sad part is I would have had my FINISH...if I was not so dumb.....I was feeling great starting the run....I did not know what mile I was on and didn't know how fast I was going....REALLY I did not care......all I knew was I was feeling great and I did IT..I was going to finish...WELL I guess at half way point there was a turn around and you had to do the run course 2 times....I was following this girl for about 4 miles and and then there were these to guys I think doing the CORP challenge race right there so I had to go around them and was still chasing this same girl.....I missed the turn around (which I did not even know there was a turn around) I ran another mile and there was the finish...I was still thinking WOW I feel great and must have had a awesome run....So I run through the finish with a big SMILE on my face...I DID IT!!!!!

Todd started to question me on how I got back so fast???? WE passed eachother on the course he was starting his second lap of the run when I was getting off my bike...I was like WHAT...you can't cheat on a race....they would have told me I was going the wrong way (and no one did) I did question why I was not too tired after running 13.2 miles...but I was still dazed and thinking I just had a really good run!!! So him and I went over in our heads about the running course and realized I still needed to run 5 more miles so we found the race director and asked if there was any way that I could go fininsh the 5 mile and of course he said NO that I just got DISQUALIFIED ........ FUCK....I started to cry....My first race...worked my ass off...threw up 3 times and almost quit in the swim 4 times...TOOK ON ALL THOSE FLIPPIN HILLS (sitting down the whole time) I am sunburned to a crisp and I get Disqualified!!!!! I did all this work for nothing...and what hurts the most is I COULD HAVE FINISHED THIS RACE....the HARDEST Half Ironman out there......I screwed up, but I also learned a lot too....I really am trying to keep positive, knowing I will be fully prepared for my next half Ironman June 8th......But it HURTS when your kids call you and ask "Mom did you do it" and I have to say NO...THAT SUCKS!!!!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melissa, I know you work so hard for this ....but now you know YOU CAN FINISH !!
It was an error. You didn't quit!
Hang in there, try to enjoy the rest of your time there and I'll see you when you get home.
I'm proud of you!!
~Tesa

Pedergraham said...

Mel:
To me you did all the hard parts...and to take on St. Croix as your first tri and live in Ohio, to boot, you are a goddess.
Your kids won't remember the 5 miles, they will remember you getting right back in the saddle and finishing the next race.
-Danielle

Mira Lelovic said...

Oh Mel, I am about to cry with you. You got totally cheated out or YOUR race! That race director needs a good kick in the a**! You will be so much stronger from this experience, mentally and physically, and you will shine June 8th. I am so proud of you for making it through the swim and not giving up. My stomach turned when I read about it.

Shelley said...

This was your first tri..I give you all kinds of kudos kids for taking this on. I'm so amazed to read stories like this and this is what keeps me going in this sport. I remember I did a race once and I totally didn't see the out and back section for the bike course. When I got off my bike, I had no idea why I was the first women?? Hmmm something wasn't right...it happens...anyways..to make a long story short, it hurt, but you learn from it and you go to the next race....I am proud of you, you will be okay!! :-)) ((hugs))

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Mel - WOW! I did not realize this was your first triathlon - holy cow!!! YOU ARE AMAZING! Okay - first, we ALL make mistakes, and my heart broke for you when I read what happened. But it's okay - we all know that you would have finished, had you 1) been pointed in the correct direction and 2) been given the chance. I am so sorry.

Your kids will love you no matter what - and if anything, they will be even MORE impressed when you get right back up and keep going. Because shit happens - we all have to deal with it. But how you choose to do so will speak volumes about you.

And finally - you didn't learn nothing. I would argue with you (quite passionately at that!) that these past few months of trainging have not been for nothing. You HAVE learned - about yourself, your capabilities, how to wear a bathingsuit on a 3 hour trainer ride... :) and so much more. This race and your training is NOT for nothing - the race is only a very small part.

I will drink a toast to you AND your success - because you ARE a success. And I think the world of you. Please don't be too sad...go get 'em for the next race! I have no doubt that you will!

Todd Crandell said...

To my wife and best friend Melissa,

I am so proud of you not only for what you achieved today but for all the work, dedication, committment and passion you have put into your training which not only shows in you physically but emotionaly as well. That also carries over to our beautifl kids, family, friends and others you do not even know. You were out there today staying strong and you did a 1.2 mile swim in rough conditons and a 56 mile bike ride that is brutal. As your husband I could only pray to God as I left you at the beach to start my swim and thought to myself " I know she is the toughest person I know mentally and she will get through it. Before I started my run I ran to your bike area and was so happy to not see your bike there and then when I saw you coming in from the bike during my run I was so happy just to see your smiling face and see how happy you were. I know what you are going through and my heart aches but I look at the positive and say that your first half ironman finish will be at our Racing for Recovery event on June 8 and I am going to personally put your medal around your neck and watch our kids and many others glow with how proud we all are of you. You are an amazing women and I am honored that you have chosen to spend your life with me.
I love you and I am very proud of you.
Todd

Anonymous said...

Mel,
OK, that was the nicest post from TODD..wow. Ok, where in all this time did I MISS THAT THIS WAS YOUR 1st TRIATHLON??????????? I didn't catch that...I am so sorry you had to have this be your 1st experience...but deep down inside you KNOW you finished and did just fine......!!!!! :) Jen H.

BreeWee said...

MEL! I am so sorry. I had no idea... I looked for you on the run and that explains why I only saw Todd (I rode back out on my bike in search). DARN it! Seriuosly, this suck (I won't pretend it doesn't) BUT Do NOT JUDGE yourself on it and DO NOT let yourself be bummed about it for more than 48 hrs. After 48hrs it is OVER! Movin' on girlfriend!!

Okay, good news... YOU did the swim, you did the bike (beast and all) and you WOULD have run the whole run... you just proved to yourself you can do it! This was hte hardest half ever, Miranda tonight claimed it herself and you did it! I love you, you amaze me!

June 8th is redemption time!

Brooke Myers said...

Mel,
first of all this race was not for nothing - not even the mistake that could have taken the finish away from you is worth saying for nothing. You trained your butt off, you went and you accomplished something many would never have attempted from the begining.
You have proven to yourself you are capable of this kind of racing. I hear this is a pretty challenging course - the announcers were even saying that age groupers had to get off their bikes and walk up the beast... Mel you made it and were feeling great - just remember that.
You have more to come ahead of you, so keep your head up and get ready to rock and roll in June.
So proud of you....

Trigirlpink said...

Just keep reading what Todd wrote!!!! IT's ALL THAT MATTERS!!
Lots and lots of racing to come and each and every one will be a learning experience.
TRY...really hard to turn this around to positive energy..laugh! I've missed a turn on the run at Monster Challenge Tri-Boston in the elite race! Look, Amanda fell off her bike in T2!!! Roll with the punches. YOU DID GREAT!!!

Jen said...

You toe-ed the line which is
A LOT more than most people did! You should be so proud of yourself for conquering THE BEAST!

Sarah said...

Mel,

I can't add too much more - these great people have said it all (and your husband's post was the SWEETEST POST EVER).

I can just echo the same - this was NOT for nothing. Everything we do is an experience, and as long as we learn from our experiences, both good and bad, then they are NOT for naught.

You gave yourself an incredible task to complete and you ROSE TO THE OCCASION. Nobody is going to care that you cut the run short. Yes, it does suck, but the important thing is that you know (and we all know) that you could do it. You trained hard and you were completely prepared for one of the hardest half-Ironmans out there.

For that...you have every reason to be COMPLETELY proud of yourself.

I am so impressed that this was your first triathlon.

And besides...we ALL make dumb mistakes in our very first race. So chalk it up to that and MOVE ON, GIRL!

You're going to climb bigger mountains than this for sure.

Great job!!
Sarah

kerrie said...

oh mel, i think you're a rockstar and i am so sorry that your day didn't go as planned. i am amazed that a mother of four, from a snowy, cold state, tackled st.croix as her first triathlon! and i know, if the race director had allowed it, you would have been back out there to finish that run! i am so proud of you for making it through that brutal swim and taming 'the beast' on the ride. i know there is a whole fantastic tri season ahead of you :)!

jahowie said...

I'm really sorry that this happened. At least you know that you would have finished. Way to gut out that swim!! You are going to be a great triathlete!! :-)

Wes said...

After reading Todd's comment, all I can say is Wow! You guys are just awesome... I musta checked your stats like thirty times yesterday, and I worried and worried and worried and now I know. Its tough right now, but the next half ironman is going to be sweeter! You are one of the toughest chicas I know. I also know you'll bounce back even stronger. I'm just a know it all like that ;-)

TriGirl Kate O said...

Mel,
You don't know me...but as a fellow triathlete I feel for you. Reading your posts from St Croix I had no idea this was your very first tri--you are a crazy woman taking on that particular race for your first. No stinking sprint for you! You must be proud of yourself for putting yourself where MANY people never dare to go. Congratulations for making it there and taking on a tough course and tough conditions. Your next race will be a blast, and you'll blow yourself and all of us away with your performance.
BTW--your husband rocks. He's a keeper.

Katie Weaver-Jongerius said...

MEL! My heart was breaking as I was reading your post! How about that super hubby of yours. He's so proud of you and so are your kids. I know it's hard to tell them but they love you no matter what...so do we. I know how much you wanted to finish. I know how nervous you were about this race. You faced your fears, you tackled the beast, you came from the cold for heaven's sake!!!

Now what? Sign up for another race and finish this thing!

Sam said...

WOW,Sorry. Nothing will make you feel better about this one. Just know that you put in the time and were more then ready. Now go get the next one!

Eileen Swanson said...

Mel,
You are awesome no matter what! You did amazing in your first race ever, tackling the choppy ocean swim, the BEAST, and those hills on the run. It's ok to make mistakes. I made a similar one in my first race and it sucks at the time, but you will look back on it in a couple of days and just laugh and say, this was no big deal - I got through the toughest parts of the race and I know I was more than capable of finishing the run. No big deal, you are going to do so awesome in your upcoming races and they will be a piece of cake. Cheer up, smile, you are amazing! We all love you!!

Love,
E

Damie said...

I am just sitting here, staring, amazed that this was your first tri. I have no doubt that you will absolutely rock your June race. I am so sorry this race was so bitter-sweet. But, come June, you will be the fastest, fiercest rookie ever!! I can't wait to read about it!

Kellye Mills said...

I can't believe this was your first triathlon!! You really are a crazy woman to take on this big of a monster for your first time ever! :)

In all seriousness, I know that must suck. But you know that you could have finished that race, especially since running is your strongest point. So chalk this one off as a lesson and go after that June 8th race! You're going to make a super triathlete!

Marni said...

that was really nice from todd.
I give you so much credit for posting that. I know it was hard. Keep your head high and just like with all bad experiences or times, life goes on. It could be worse..but it could be better. Therefore, work hard, once again for that better time when you will really be happy that you were able to move on. We love you mel!!! Or atleast I do!!! :) hehe